The Elements of Trust
by Villanelle
Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me. :) ***COMPLETED***
1. Flaws

**Title:** Elements of Trust   
**Author: **Nights   
**Email:** nights@poetic.com   
**Rating: **PG-13 (for some foul language)   
**Archive:** yes   
**Pairing: **None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.   
**Disclaimer: **Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money.   
**Summary: **An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me. :)

**Part I: Flaws**

It was starting to become a habit. Shalimar was again looking into the ring, left without a genetic code, lying on top of Adam's desk where he usually did his paperwork. It was supposedly for another one of their brothers, actually a sister. An empath. From Adam's readings, a very strong one. Hunted by the GSA. Yes, the script is the same as always. Shalimar saved her life, brought her to the Sanctuary. Adam asked her to join them, and she said no, her face a mixture of fear and trepidation. Shalimar brought her to the safe house, said goodbye, and that was it.

But that was just yesterday.

Shalimar sighed. Adam was typing furiously into his computer, rebuilding their database. A week ago, one of the mutants Shalimar saved from an impending GSA capture had turned on them, using his gift of telekinesis to disrupt the peaceful flow of machinery in the Sanctuary. Oh yes, Shalimar gave him a good beating, but not before he had cracked her ribs with just one glance.

Shalimar winced, remembering the sound of ribs collapsing, the gritty whine it emanated as she continued to fight despite the exertion. After Adam applied medical attention to her and assured her she was going to be all right, she had asked him, one more time, the purpose of their quest. And he had given her the same answer. A slight smile, telling her that she already knew the answer.

But how long can she go on this way? Sure she was an independent person, and despite Adam's fathering, nurturing instincts Shalimar never needed to go to him for comfort. Yet Shalimar was not stupid, her feral instincts told her every time she approached a mission alone that things are not going to remain this easy. The GSA agents will figure out the pattern of her attacking style, maybe someday use her power against her, who knows.

She looked at the ring again, picked it up, admiring how it plays with the light from the bulb over her head. She frowned, seeing the face on the ring as not hers. That face had an expression alien to her.

An expression, bearing the face of pain. That was understandable; she still had to recover from her injuries. But what else was there?

Shalimar gripped the ring tightly, her jaw clenching hard, as she realized that it was an expression of fear. Mixed with the ugly sight of sadness. A sadness she didn't fully understand.

She threw the ring back at the desk.

**************************

"Shalimar?"

Shalimar sat up in surprise, cursing as she whacked her head on the light bulb over her head. She reminded herself to keep her instincts in check and not lower them just because she was in familiar territory. She got up and strode to Adam's side, settling an arm at the back of his chair.

"You have got to do something about that light bulb, Adam," she complained. "That was the third time in a row. I swear if this happens one more time I'll be throwing it to the wall."

Adam didn't look up from the computer. "What did I tell you about controlling your feral instincts?"

"I don't bother about them when I'm at the Sanctuary," she answered flippantly.

"That light bulb was never a problem to you, only recently." Adam turned off the computer monitor and swiveled around to face her. "Are you still feeling the after effects of the attack and your injuries?"

Shalimar pasted a smile on her face. "No. I'm fine. I told you, I don't care if fellow mutants betray us, its all part of the game, right?"

Adam studied her for a full minute. Just as she was starting to feel like the smile would permanently be glued to her face, Adam turned back to the computer and flipped the monitor switch on.

"My contact gave me a call. Apparently GSA agents have been sighted patrolling in a remote district. Being remote, that means it isn't too far from here." Adam pointed the location in the map tacked next to the computer.

She surveyed the location, a smirk forming in her features as she realized the significance of the location. "Prussian Gardens. That's where them rich bigwigs live, right?"

Adam nodded. "The target is, presumably, living in that location. I've done some research, and tonight a prestigious family will be celebrating the 20th birthday of their only son."

Shalimar nodded in understanding. "A perfect way for the GSA to kidnap that mutant, should he or she is living there."

Adam nodded again, and focused her attention on the database. "You're right on track. The target is Jesse Kilmartin, the son of the prestigious family."

Shalimar whistled. "Looks like he won't be making it to the opening of the presents." She straightened up. "Tell me everything I need to know and I'll get him out of there as soon as possible."

Adam consulted the database. "Some of the information are fuzzy because I'm still rebuilding the database, but from what I can discern-" Adam's eyes narrowed as he looked closely to the information on screen. "-he's a molecular. He can alter the density of his body, from hard to soft, to barely tangible, even completely intangible."

A wicked grin sliced through Shalimar's face. "From hard to soft, huh? How old did you say this guy is again? And is there a picture?" She leaned to check the information, and groaned in disappointment when Adam switched the computer monitor off again.

The pout left her face when she saw that Adam's expression was serious. "I understand that you're always excited to face a challenge but I'm advising you again and always to be careful. We don't know anything about Jesse and who knows, he might turn on us like what the others did." He gripped her hand tightly, his voice firm "By all means, don't risk anything. I don't want anybody in the party to be hurt, and if you can't bring Jesse and yourself here safely, don't bother and abort the mission. Is that clear?"

Shalimar had never seen Adam this serious. The previous events must have really shaken him. "I understand."

With a sigh of relief, Adam released her hand. "Don't take any unnecessary risks, Shalimar." He turned back to his computer. "You're all I got."

Shalimar nodded and ran up to board Double Helix. _Same here._

******End of Part I******


	2. The Fall

Author/pseudonym: Nights  
Fandom:Mutant X  
Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.  
E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com   
Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^  
Notes: First of all, thank you to all those who reviewed Chapter 1. This is my first time to write a Mutant X fanfic, let alone a fanfic with multiple chapters, so its great to receive good commentary. This fic is going to be very angsty, and this chapter will deal with some of the questions regarding Jesse's past. I know, the TV series will eventually reveal Jesse's past to us and debunk everything I've written here but hey, this IS just a fanfic. :)  
Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me. ( Pairings: None.  
  
  
**Part II: The Fall**

Ballroom music, the swishing of long gowns, the darkness of tuxedos, the laughter and light conversation…all of these coalesced into a single moving image dancing on the blue eyes of the young man standing alone at the top of the stairs. He leaned slightly on the railing with his arms, taking a break from watching the party to pull at the errant bowtie seemingly constricting his neck.

It was supposed to be his day, his mother told him that morning, when he told her that he wasn't feeling too well to go to his party. His birthday party. He knew his mother was using his birthday as an excuse to hold another festive, glorious social gathering to best the party the Richmonds, their neighbors, had a few days ago. Always strive to be the best, mother says.

He remembered the flash of anger in his mother's eyes when she found out that he won't be going to the party. She then enumerated the million reasons he should go. Number one, he would be embarrassing her. Number two, she invited Marla Robinson, the daughter of Henry Robinson, who was the owner of the Robinson Real Estate Firm, which is the client of his mother. Wait, that can't be number two, could it? Number three, he would be embarrassing her. Number four, number four…he had already tuned her out at number four.

Jesse sighed and toyed with the expensive watch on his left hand, mesmerized by the slow, languid movement of its hands, reminding him that he's got a long way to go before the party ends. He then caught sight of his mother searching the ground floor aimlessly, looking for him. He felt a sharp pang of guilt at treating his mother like this, but he really didn't feel like mingling with so many people. Besides, crazy things often happen when he find himself in a crowd. Like when…

He shook his head, forcing a flood of memories surfacing from the shadowy confines of his mind. He promised to himself that he would go down 30 minutes before the party ends, just to say goodbye to all the visitors. Now that wouldn't be too bad, wouldn't it? He'd just tell his mother that he had a headache, and went upstairs for a while to rest. She would be angry, of course, but for a short while. After all, his mother is so great at forgetting everything. Like how he didn't want a watch or a car or a new computer or a girlfriend for his birthday, that he wanted his father to be there more than anything. Like when he received a complaint from the high school principal a few years ago about him being found in the girls' locker room….Jesse pushed those thoughts away again. He didn't need to remember those now.

He sighed again, wishing his father was here. Dad always knew how to make him feel useful, like he had a purpose in life. That there was more to being the son of a rich and prestigious family than being a mere decoration of his mother for social events. That love is more than marrying just another brainless local girl from yet another family client. That Hugo Boss, Versace, and all those expensive European brands are insignificant if you can't even fasten your own bow tie right.

An arm suddenly draped over his shoulder, and he found himself staring at his very impatient and annoyed mother. "Jesse, honey, I know you don't feel well," she gave him the look she usually gave him when she was in between wanting to snap a flurry of angry words at him, and tucking him into bed with understanding. "But remember Marla? She's wearing such a lovely dress, and those pearl earrings you gave her last month look absolutely stunning on her! And-"

Jesse looked at her in confusion. "I gave her pearl earrings?"

His mother gave him a Look. "I bought it, and told her it was from you. It doesn't matter," she added hastily, seeing his confusion turn to disbelief. "Look down there."

He turned his gaze downward. "Ok, I'm looking." He turned back at her, trying to remain polite. "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me."

Throwing her hands impatiently, his mother raised both of her hands at him. "Ten."

Jesse nodded, trying to keep his own impatience in check. "Ten…?"

"Ten is the number of young ladies who asked me where you are in the last few minutes," she snapped. "26 is the overall number. 15 of them are worth the dance, 4 worth the asking out. Now go."

Jesse's fingers flew to his forehead. "Mom, I told you, my headache…?"

His mother's face brightened. "Oh yes, I almost forgot." She pulled a bottle of aspirin from her purse. "For your headache."

Jesse groaned inwardly. He tried to choose his words carefully. "Mom, I appreciate your concern but I think I should just sleep it off-"

She interrupted him by grabbing his arm and pulling him to the direction of the party. "There's Marla now. No time for the aspirin." She let go of his arm and started pushing him to the stairs. "Go," she urged.

Jesse resisted the urge to roll his eyes, reminding himself of everything his mother had done for him all his life, to excuse this yet another grating situation she had dumped him into. He tried to think of more pleasant thoughts to brace himself from the girl waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He was mildly aware of his mother stopping him at the last minute, scolding him for the umpteenth time on his loosened tie, before sending him off again.

He found himself pulled from his thoughts as a glistening pair of pearl earrings caught the light and sliced through his sight. He blinked, and forced a polite smile that he had long kept ready for these kinds of situations. "Hello Marla," he greeted her, pleased that the gracious pitch that came along with his smile came out perfectly.

"Hello Jesse," she greeted him back, her excitement upon seeing him betrayed by her all-too-bright grin and the way she fastened herself onto his arm. "Let's go dance, shall we?"

Jesse found his polite smile fading, but with all his might, forced it to remain on his face. "Sure." _Ugh._

_*********_

_Ugh_, Shalimar thought as she forced herself into the magenta chiffon dress she had stolen from one of the girls who had stayed too long in the ladies' room alone. Adam told her too little, too late of her need to obtain a formal dress for the party, but Shalimar was in no mood to stop at the mall, let alone succumb to the torture of stupid salesladies forcing her to buy clothes she probably would never wear again. When was the last time she wore such an uncomfortable dress anyway? She couldn't remember, and she didn't want to.

She zipped the dress up, and cursed when she found out that the girls' sandals were too small for her. _You would think someone with feral DNA would have the same size as a cat._ She giggled to herself, dumping the sandals back at the unconscious girl. "Guess I have to keep these boots after all," she muttered. "Thank God this dress is long."

She walked to the mirror and tried her best to make herself seem presentable, but everything about her was wild, from the glint in her dark eyes to the impish curve of her mouth. Even her hair, she noticed, refused to listen to the reason of the comb she had tried running through it. Giving up, she grabbed the girls' purse and stepped out of the comfort room. "Showtime."

As soon as she stepped out, she found herself face to face with two girls, distinctly younger than her. She noted the look of disdain in their faces as they ran their eyes all over her, taking in the boots half-hidden by the long dress. Shalimar resisted with all her might the urge to drive her boot at their necks. "It's a new trend I'm working on, " she said brightly, instead.

They didn't even let her finish her sentence as they brushed past her, their noses high in the air. Shalimar grabbed the arm of one of them, and glared at her, allowing her eyes to go completely feral even for just one second. The girl gasped in horror, and hastened toward the door. Shalimar smirked and made her way to the main ballroom.

She took in the sight of the party, using her feral senses to find the special scent that she usually found emanating from fellow mutants. The fear, the frustration, the confusion at encountering something so new and different it was horrifying. Her senses drew her to the crowd of girls that have gathered at one side of the room. Never knew he was a babe magnet.

She strode purposely to his direction, when suddenly the crowd broke. Her eyes followed a young, blond man sporting a black suit leaving the crowd, toward the stairs. She waited for him to have reached the top of the stairs completely before following him.

He was walking at a surprisingly slow pace in the dark hallway leading to the bedrooms, as if he was waiting for someone. Shalimar sucked in her breath and hid in the shadows. That was when she sensed a presence in the same hallway, somewhere near her, and she forced herself firmly on one of the bedroom doors left ajar, at the same time, bracing herself just in case the intruder steps up and attacks Jesse.

She could hear the footsteps escalating in pitch, knowing Jesse couldn't possibly hear it with the exact precision as she could. That was when she noticed that Jesse himself had stopped in the middle of the hallway, keeping himself in the dark. He slowly turned around, his eyes focusing on a point somewhere behind her. Shalimar wondered if he had found her out. She sucked in her breath.

Just when she thought she couldn't breathe any longer, Jesse's features broke into a smile of recognition as he shook his head slightly, and then turned and walked away. Before Shalimar could guess what the smile meant, a figure ran past her and hugged the young man tightly from behind.

Shalimar raised an eyebrow as Jesse turned around and returned the girls' hug, planting a kiss on her forehead. He placed an arm around her and lead her toward his bedroom. Boys and hormones, she thought mischievously. She then turned to follow him. Should the GSA agents attempt to capture Jesse now there's no need for them to catch him on the brink of some good ol' intimacy on his birthday.

**************

"So, " Laura said, punching him on the arm. "Did I scare you this time?"

Jesse laughed. "No, you didn't," He smiled at her, happy that for once, he was smiling without pretension at least for one time on his birthday. "And you probably never will."

She laughed, her green eyes twinkling, and settled onto his arms, content. In return, he buried his lips onto the blood red of her hair, thinking deeply.

He had met Laura at the roof of the university library two months ago, when he was desperately seeking for a quiet place to think. He had searched aimlessly in the university premises for solace and found the roof the most appealing place to go to. Unfortunately Laura wasn't there for the same reason. He had caught her, just in time, when she was on the brink of jumping down the roof to her death, 8 stories below into solid concrete.

She had tried to push him off, calling him names, punching him at the arm. She had screamed at the pain that coursed through her body as her fingers punched the firm brick that his arm had transformed into. That pain calmed her down. Jesse then berated himself for apparently causing her to hurt herself, but she didn't want to listen to his apologies. Laura wasn't interested in hearing him say sorry, she was more of interested into finding out what was it that her fingers had slammed into.

Jesse was usually unable to answer such a question, choosing to lie than explaining something so complicated, something that confused him and made him hate himself so much. Yet despite hearing the story that caused people to call him that dreaded "freak" word, Laura merely smiled and told him that she was glad to hear that someone who seems to be living a perfect life is "normal" after all. Jesse was surprised and thought that she misunderstood him, that her being in a suicidal state of mind had failed to comprehend his problem.

But Laura had understood. Too much. When she asked to meet him everyday at the roof of the library to talk or simply sit down together, Jesse realized that he had found a friend. Or more than just a friend? Could be. At the beginning, Jesse was distant, not wanting to trust blindly the way he always did because that was always how he got hurt. Yet there was something about her that made him think otherwise. Laura was the only person he had met who knew how it felt to be weak and useless, being in a family with drunken parents who refused to support her. She couldn't find any source of work to pay for the bills, yet she wanted to study so badly that she applied for scholarship at the university. Unfortunately, a job, the need for straight A's, and parents who screamed at you silly day and night was enough to make you crumble into nothingness and will for nothing but for all of it to end.

"Sometimes I wonder if I was lucky or not that you stopped me that day," Laura had told him once. Jesse didn't know what to say, for she was right. He had done nothing but prolong the agony of her life. But then, Laura was everything to him, even though he couldn't find himself unable to tell her that to her face. She was content, though, by his wordless showing of affection, everytime he held tightly onto her hand to show her how much she meant to him. How much it meant to have solace, that someone whose very existence drowns you with the feeling of how much it means to be alive.

Despite the problems. Despite the sickness. Despite being a freak. Despite the lack of love from your family.

If Laura was going to give him a reason to live then so be it, he would gladly give his life for her if she loses her own from another suicide attempt. Laura knew it, and he knew it frightened her. Hell, it frightened him too. But it was worth it. She was worth everything.

Laura suddenly pulled away. "Happy birthday," she said softly.

Jesse nodded, pulled her back to him, kept his face hidden onto her neck, wanting to mold himself onto her so badly. He was exhausted from yet another birthday spent with pretensions and she was such a pleasing escape that he wondered if he could ever have enough of the comfort and love she gave him so wantonly. He almost groaned in disappointment when she pulled away again, a wolfish smile to her face.

"Its your birthday, partner," she whispered. "Let's dance."

Dance? Jesse looked around. In his room? "But there's no music," he protested.

She laughed, her happiness translating itself into such a melodious form that it debunked his previous statement. "I know. But we could pretend that there is."

Jesse raised his eyebrows. He was never the type to do anything without a set of rules, let alone dance without at least music to guide him, and Laura knew that. She held out her hand anyway, and as he gripped it, he allowed her to lead him to the terrace outside his bedroom.

He sucked in his breath. It was a long time since he'd stepped onto this terrace, more so because the safety railing had fallen apart. Yet he didn't want Laura to call him a chicken. Humming a familiar tune, she then held onto his fingers and started to twirl around, humorously attempting to copy a ballerina, but failing terribly. Jesse's laughter flooded the room.

********************

Shalimar had stepped into the bedroom, following their voices, coming to a stop just outside a terrace. She noticed that the girl was now humming softly as she swirled around, dancing, making Jesse laugh.

As Shalimar observed the scene, careful not to ruin their intimate moment, she noticed the distinct change in Jesse's facial expression. Gone now was the forced smile and controlled tone of voice. The slightly restrained sadness present in his eyes had changed, replaced with the glow of pure happiness. She realized that this girl, whoever she was, was someone Jesse was absolutely in love with. The way he looked at her, with so much delight, wonder, and pleasure…he reminded Shalimar of a young boy being presented his first toy. His love and happiness was so infectious, in fact, that Shalimar felt herself smiling also.

"Shalimar?"

Shit. Shalimar checked if they heard her, sighing in relief to see that they didn't. "Adam?"

"How's everything going? Did you find him?"

"Yup, and if you keep on talking, you'll blow my cover."

"Ok, sorry. Out."

Shalimar shook her head and looked back at the scene. Jesse now held Laura's both hands on his own, as she leaned back onto the terrace, still laughing. He looked back at her, his eyes shining.

And that was when Shalimar's feral instincts pierced her with so much force, she almost doubled over. She cursed silently, reminding herself to keep that aspect of her powers in control. She shook her head, trying to clear it. She couldn't help but worry; her instincts only does that when the danger was so strong.

She turned back to Jesse and the girl. He was still holding her hand, but there was something dreadfully wrong with what she was seeing. Was it just her, or are Jesse's fingers…fading?

Shalimar gasped in horror as Jesse's fingers disappeared completely, causing the girl to hold onto nothing but air. Her eyes grew wide as she found herself leaning backward, the terrace's railing giving up behind her. The sound of her scream pierced the air as she fell.

Shalimar froze, and then her hands flew to her ears as her feral senses caused the sound of a long, low wail to heighten to a dozen more decibels. She looked around, her ears almost bleeding from the insistent cry, carrying the ugly stench of fear, frustration and confusion. She again looked around wildly for the source of that cry, preparing to silence it before her ears explode. When she finally found the source, she felt her own heart bleed.

It was Jesse.

****End Part II*****


	3. The Beauty in Sadness

Author/pseudonym: Nights 

Fandom:Mutant X

Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.

E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com 

Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^

Notes: First of all, thank you to all those who reviewed Chapter 1 and 2. This is my first time to write a Mutant X fanfic, let alone a fanfic with multiple chapters, so its great to receive good commentary. This fic is going to be very angsty, and this chapter will deal with some of the questions regarding Jesse's past. I know, the TV series will eventually reveal Jesse's past to us and debunk everything I've written here but hey, this IS just a fanfic. :)

IMPORTANT! The text that are italicized and are enclosed in asterisks (e.g. **_text_**) are Jesse's thoughts. Please keep that in mind as you read this. Plain italicized text (e.g. _text_) should be treated as it normally is.

Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me. 

**Part III: The Beauty in Sadness**

**_An old wive's tale said that when we die, we revel in the fulcrum of happiness and sadness. This fulcrum is so thin that there are times when we do not know if we are laughing or crying. The tension between these two distinct emotions tend to resonate onto each other, pushing, insisting to be what you feel to the point that they become pain. They say that when we die, that is where the pain comes from, the confusion on where we go from here._

_Another tale said that our bodies transform into the space a hundred miles from the center of the earth, where there is no gravity, no air to breathe, nothing but plain space. Without a home, our bodies drift into this plain space, disjointed, with errant movements, without direction or destination. Our eyes will stay open, but it is a different kind of open, more of glassy, reflective of its surroundings, with no color or shade of its own. Our cheeks will turn sallow and will eventually crumble from lack of energy, and so will our bones. Without a soul, unaware of experiences nor the simple sentiment of breathing. It is as if we never lived at all.**_

**************

_**Where am I? Nothing, nothing seems familiar to me. Not the sounds of sirens, not the colors of red…red from what? Red from the flashing lights of police sirens? Red from the color of the roses in our garden? Red from the color of blood? I don't have red wallpaper. I don't have red hair. I don't have red lips. Where is all that red coming from? I hate that color. And that smell…I hate that smell too. It is so pungent, so acrid, so vile…I can't breathe. I can't move my arms, my hands…I am fading. Where to? I feel myself falling, falling and I try to brace myself against something solid but nothing seems to be solid here.**_

**************

Shalimar half-listened to the discussion between the two police officers standing near the terrace, now barricaded with the all-too-familiar yellow tape. She took in the facts, _Laura Penrose, 20 years of age, single daughter. Succumbed the following injuries: four broken ribs, a fractured skull, and internal bleeding. Died: 12:42 am. Wednesday._

_Cause of death: suicide._

Shalimar didn't know how to react, the light, sardonic laugh being born from the bottom of her throat seemingly inappropriate. But nothing could describe what she saw a few minutes ago. The pain. The fear. The confusion. The anger. The tears. 

How their "powers" can change happiness into sadness, in the smallest fractions of time. It was so real, so dreadfully, agonizingly real. 

And so dreadfully, agonizingly, sad. 

*************

She didn't know where to find Jesse, hell, she didn't know if she should continue looking for the guy, seeing how much in pain and trauma he was in. A few minutes after Laura's fall, one of the maids had entered the room and called the police and an ambulance. The whole time, Jesse had collapsed onto his bed, unable to move or to speak, seemingly in a trance. While the police were in the middle of questioning him he had disappeared, right through his bed, to the surprise of almost everyone, but not Shalimar. Later on she saw a woman in a huge ball gown, overadorned with pearls and other sparkling jewelry, hand over money to the police, as she whispered to to them quietly. Apparently she was Jesse's mother, paying the police not to talk about her son's sudden and unexplainable disappearance.

The rich had a way of fixing things. Shalimar rolled her eyes.

She stepped out of the constricting dress she had stolen, dumping the errant clothing to the nearest rose bush. As she straightened her more comfortable sleeveless black tank top and black leather pants, she thought hard on where to find the young man. She was really thinking twice about bothering him, because she knew for a fact that if you were confused and upset that it would be better for you to be alone.

But then not everyone have any GSA agents on their trail.

"Shalimar?"

She sighed. "Yes, Adam?"

"I figured you might be enjoying the party." She smirked at the subtle tone of sarcasm in Adam's voice. "But you have a mission, remember? Where's Jesse?"

Shalimar hesitated. For once she was at a loss for words. Her thoughts returned to the previous events, the look on Jesse's face when he realized what his powers had done, Laura's scream, and the sickening thud of a body falling on concrete…her blood ran cold.

"Shalimar?"

She shook her head hastily, forcing the memories out. "Adam. I think I should call it a night. There are no GSA agents and Jesse is…" Her voice trailed off.

"Jesse is…?" Adam prodded gently.

"I don't think he's ready to come with us."

There was a short silence, and when Adam spoke again, his voice was firm. "Shalimar. There is no such thing as a new mutant who is ready to come with us. They will always be hesitant, confused, and afraid. Its up to you and myself to get them ready for the future, to prepare them for this war. Now we'll never be able to start with the preparations if we don't get them where they'll be safe, where they can learn to control their powers in peace."

Shalimar nodded absentmindedly. She had heard all of this before, but that wasn't the type of response she wanted from Adam. Still, he was right. "Ok, Adam. I'll get on it."

"Ok, out."

The minute the words left Adam's mouth, Shalimar raised her head as her enhanced hearing picked up the sharp click of a laser gun some distance from her. She cocked her head, following the sound until she found herself at the entrance of a majestic rose garden. She took a second to admire her surroundings, and returned to the task at hand.

Her eyes widened as she surveyed the scene in front of her. Three GSA agents surrounded a stone bench in the middle of the garden, their guns poised to shoot. Her heart caught her throat when she saw their guns aimed at the head of the now familiar form of Jesse.

Telling herself that there was no time to waste, Shalimar leapt over the heads of the GSA agents, landing squarely on the other side of the garden without a sound. She sneaked up to the backs of the agents, caught Jesse's eye and beckoned for him to stay still.

His blue eyes bored into hers, and she was startled by the evident loss of its luster. Marred with an expression of pain and confusion, he merely bowed his head lower, almost willing the GSA agents to shoot.

"Well, what do you know, for once we've got a freak who ain't running away from us, eh?"

"Yeah, maybe we should just kill him right here!"

"Shut up, Tommy!" one of them snapped. "Check him for cash first, we never get paid enough for this shit."

They hastily checked Jesse's pockets and retrieved a wallet. "Damn, this is higher than my one month pay!" The taller agent boomed. "This watch, too, seem worth thousands!" He proceeded to loosen the strap of Jesse's watch, Jesse, the whole time, acting like he was a million miles away, the expression on his face not changing.

Shalimar had had enough. She stepped forward. "Aww baby, don't I get a share of the loot?"

The GSA agents turned around wildly. "Damn, its that bitch again!" the agent pulling at Jesse's watch shouted. He ran up to her and tried to land a punch, but Shalimar was too quick for him. She bent down, grabbed his fist and flipped him over her shoulder. She paused as the sound of the agent falling to the ground reminded her of a more sickening sound of a thud that she had heard earlier. The memories of the previous events flooded her brain, freezing her in place…Jesse and Laura's laughter, Laura's scream of terror, Jesse's wail of indescribable pain…

She let out a gasp as one of the agents' fists caught her at the side of the midriff. She doubled over, and felt a searing pain as a kick landed on her back, and another, and another. She looked up blindly, her sight catching an agent who had aimed the gun yet again at Jesse's head.

Shalimar couldn't understand why, but the mere sight of that made her get up with so much force, she knocked one of the agents legs from her, causing him to lose his balance. She faced the two agents taking their turns kicking at her, her eyes almost completely feral in fury. She ducked the punch aimed for her face and with the grace of a panther, delivered a swift boot onto the back of the agent's head, making sure she connected at the right pressure point. The corners of her lips curved into an impish smile when the agent fell to the grass, knocked out. She pressed a fist on the other approaching agent's midriff, finishing him off with a boot at the face. She stepped up to the agent who was near Jesse, grabbed his arm before he could point the gun at her, and twisted it until she heard the clear sound of a crack. With a yawn, she finished the job by jabbing him at the back of the neck. He fell down on the grass, unconscious.

She surveyed the fallen agents with a smirk, and then picked up Jesse's watch and wallet. She turned around, walked to him purposely, but came to a stop when she realized that the whole time she was fighting the agents, Jesse never bothered to move from his seat. Yet he seemed to have watched her closely as she fought the agents, and now, the look of confusion and pain in his eyes was replaced by a look of complete recrimination.

Stung by the expression on his face, Shalimar cautiously held her hands for him to see. "I'm not going to hurt you," she said gently. "But you're probably not safe here. Let's say you-"

He cut her off. "I'm not going anywhere," he said sharply.

Shalimar let out a loud, audible sigh. "Look, I know you're upset, I would be feeling the same way if I were in your place, but-"

Jesse cut her off again, and this time, he stood up. He regarded her, his jaw clenched and as he spoke, his eyes flashed. "You don't know anything," he snapped. "Nothing." He enunciated each syllable, the resentment in his voice so evident that it sent chills into her spine.

She was about to say something, but then one of the agents came to and had aimed his laser gun at her. She was about to finish the agent off with a backhand, when Jesse's voice pierced through her like a knife.

"Hey, point that gun where it belongs."

Silently, the agent looked at Jesse, who had pointed straight to his own chest. "Right here," he said, his voice cracking.

Shalimar hissed at the agent, making it clear that she wasn't having any of this. She can understand why Jesse would want himself dead but right now, with a GSA agent holding a laser gun at her, she wasn't in the mood to talk him out of it. She backhanded the agent.

Satisfied, she walked to Jesse until their faces were barely inches apart. Jesse backed away, the bravado and sureness in his expression that he exhibited a few minutes ago gone, and the fear and confusion in his eyes, back. Shalimar liked that look on him, she didn't know why. She continued stepping forward as she watched Jesse backing slowly into a tree.

To her surprise, Jesse backed right through the tree. Surprised by his loss of balance, he fell right onto his back. If only the situation weren't so serious, Shalimar would have laughed. But all intention to do so was drowned by Jesse as he cursed, kicking the tree. Frustrated, he kicked it so hard it shook, and almost fell over. Shalimar was amazed at the sudden burst of strength from him, until she realized that his leg had turned into metal.

Shalimar walked over to him and bent down. He kept his eyes firmly to the ground, his face flushed from the exertion of his powers. She held out her hand, but he refused to take it. Impatient, she held the sides of his face and forced him to look at her. Tired, emotionally and physically, Jesse didn't fight her.

She heard the slight shuffling of feet, the distinct sound of the GSA agents retreating behind her. She kept her eyes on his anyway, taking in the barrage of emotions he was feeling, the pain, confusion, frustration and fear. Wide blue eyes bored into hers, and she came to the realization that Jesse needed someone, anyone, to make him feel better. Without a word, she pressed his face into her shoulder, and gave him a hug.

She rarely had to do this, in fact, she only did this twice to two New Mutants she rescued, who were too afraid to even say anything to her. But Jesse…he didn't respond with hesitation and suspicion the way the two did. The minute she hugged him he held onto her so tightly that he startled her. Shalimar had never hugged anyone this close for a long time, and she almost pushed him away, but there was something in him, something in the way he held onto her, the way his body shook, the way his slightly tenuous hold on his self-control slowly disintegrated; like he was drowning in a stormy sea and she was the one piece of wood left for him to brace himself to.Whatever it was, it urged her to hold him tight.

And never let go.

****End Part III****


	4. Pushing The Limits

Author/pseudonym: Nights   
Fandom:Mutant X  
Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.  
E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com   
Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^  
Notes: Thanks so much to all those who reviewed my fic. :) This is my first time to write a Mutant X fanfic, let alone a fanfic with multiple chapters, so its great to receive good commentary. This fic is going to be very angsty, and this chapter will deal with some of the questions regarding Jesse's past. I know, the TV series will eventually reveal Jesse's past to us and debunk everything I've written here but hey, this IS just a fanfic. :)  
Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me.   
  
  
Part IV: Pushing the Limits  
  
"Shalimar?"  
  
She sighed. "Adam?"  
  
"I don't mean to annoy you, but you know what I'm going to ask."  
  
Shalimar pulled slightly away from Jesse, who kept his eyes firmly on the ground next to her. She kept her left arm on his shoulder and gave him the most comforting smile she could muster, and then proceeded to talk to Adam on her ring.  
  
"Give me a little more time, Adam. I'm not sure if he's ready to come with us yet."  
  
"I'm afraid I can't give you that, Shalimar." She looked up in surprise to see the familiar form of the Double Helix appearing in the dark night sky. "Adam?"  
  
Adam didn't answer. She sighed and looked at Jesse, who had now stood up and leaned on the tree. She wondered how she would break the news to him, and after careful deliberation, decided to take it one step at a time. "Jesse?"  
  
He looked up at her, trying to hide his surprise, yet being betrayed by the momentary flash of shock in his eyes. "How did you know my name?"  
  
She sighed again. She got this all the time, and it was starting to get annoying. She tried to keep her patience in check, though. "No time to answer that. We have to go."  
  
He backed away, careful to look behind him as he did so. "Where?"  
  
"Someplace safe. The GSA-I mean those guys," she corrected herself hastily. "They will keep on coming and coming and coming back for you, and I have to bring you someplace safe."  
  
He looked at her suspiciously. "And that someplace safe is where?"  
  
Shalimar lost her patience. "I can't tell you right now," she replied, grabbing his arm in an attempt to steer him to the direction where she thought Adam landed Double Helix.  
  
It was harder than she thought, because the minute she started dragging him, she felt herself holding nothing but air. She turned around, and saw him smirking at her. "You're not going to drag me out of here without telling me who you are, and where you're from. And while you're at it, tell me what the hell you are, because I know for a fact that those moves you did earlier can't be done by any normal human being." He crossed his arms and waited for an answer.  
  
Shalimar gritted her teeth. Smart ass. "Oh, I forgot, mommy taught you not to go anywhere with strangers," she mocked. "Tell me, little man, after I saved your head from getting shot wide open, would I take you to any dangerous place?"  
  
Jesse thought for a moment. "I guess not." Then his eyes narrowed. "But who are you? Its not fair, you know my name, you're not even telling me how you found out, but you're not telling me anything about yourself."  
  
"Look, I don't have time for a third degree, but if you really need to know, its Shalimar."   
  
"Shalimar, huh?" Shalimar looked up and realized that while she was talking, Jesse had been checking her out. She smirked as he tried not to let on that he was admiring her from head to toe, but Shalimar wasn't stupid, and she wasn't going to let him get away with it. "Do you want me to turn around so you can get a full view?"  
  
Jesse blushed, and Shalimar laughed at his reaction, her eyes twinkling. "Ok, you know my name, so let's go?"  
  
He hesitated for a moment, and then reached for her hand, which, with hesitation, she obliged. As they walked, Jesse squeezed her hand tightly, as if he was checking if her hand was still there. Shalimar blinked, surprised at the gesture and the too-intimate contact, but responded by squeezing his hand back.   
  
******************  
  
"Report?"  
  
"Nothing much, Adam. Three GSA agents tried to get him, even tried to steal his things." Shalimar pressed her fingers to her forehead. She felt a headache slowly making its presence felt. "I got rid of them, and brought Jesse here."  
  
Adam pressed the auto-pilot button of the Double Helix and looked behind him at Jesse, who sat a few meters away, his forehead pressed into the window, eyes clouded, deep in thought. "And how is he?"  
  
Shalimar hesitated, then decided that she shouldn't hide anything from him. "Not good," she confessed. "Adam…" she broke off, not knowing what else to say.   
  
Adam regarded her with a concerned look on his face. He studied her for awhile, then stood up and walked to Jesse's direction.  
  
Shalimar knew what he had in mind, and instinctively grabbed his arm. "Be gentle."  
  
Adam nodded. He pulled a seat and sat down in front of Jesse. "Jesse?"  
  
Jesse pried his face away from the window with much difficulty. He looked at Adam with weary eyes, not even bothering to answer.  
  
Adam pulled out a thin sheet of plastic from a container he kept in his pocket. "Don't panic," he told him soothingly. "This will only be for a few minutes."  
  
Much to his surprise, Jesse didn't panic, nor fight him from attaching the sheet onto his right temple. Adam gave Shalimar a Look, which she returned.   
  
"A visual cloak," Jesse whispered softly, in a voice barely audible, but enough for Shalimar's enhanced hearing to catch. She gave Adam a startled look.  
  
Adam thought for a moment. "You're aware of this kind of technology?"  
  
"I heard my father talk about these kinds of things before," Jesse answered coolly.   
  
"What exactly does your father do?" Shalimar asked.   
  
Jesse didn't answer, and leaned back into his seat. He felt for the window, and pressed his face to it again. Shalimar and Adam guessed the conversation was over.   
  
Adam sighed and returned to the cockpit. Shalimar stayed behind, staring at the young man who was staring outside the window as if he could still see through it. She couldn't understand why, but the previous events and the cold demeanor he just exhibited stabbed at her heart, and she felt the unexplainable sadness she felt when she saw the ring without a genetic code return with a vengeance. She tried to make sense with her feelings and the more she did, the more it made her confused.  
  
And scared.   
  
*********************  
  
Jesse lay on the examination chair, shifting every now and then, trying to find a comfortable position. He had insisted on keeping his clothing the whole time, and no amount of coaxing from Adam made him change his mind.   
  
"Scan complete." Adam walked back towards Jesse, who had sat up quickly.   
  
"You never really told me what this scan is for." Jesse looked at him suspiciously.  
  
Adam held up his hands. "Well, since you recognized the technology we used, from the visual cloak, I figured you would know what this scan does to New Mutants."  
  
Jesse's head raised sharply as he heard the word, that word that seemed so vile to him, that one word other than "freak" that he hated. "I'm not a New Mutant."   
  
Adam blinked, and then proceeded to explain the scan. "This machine is sort of a diagnostic check. It checks up on your powers-"  
  
Jesse threw his head back and let out a sardonic laugh. "Powers, huh?" His jaw clenched as everything, all the frustration, pain and confusion he failed to control and understand from the previous events that happened that evening, all solidified into an emotion he could control, quite well.  
  
Anger.  
  
He lashed out, banging his fist onto the nearest exam table. "How can you call these "powers"?" he shouted. "I bet none of us freaks wanted this power you're forcing in on us!"  
  
Adam didn't answer. Jesse felt himself seeing red, again, and in his desperation to push it away, push the images of the previous events from his mind, the more he lost control of that very aspect of himself that he wanted to hide so badly. His heart caught in his throat as he felt it, the sudden rush of air into his chest, as if he was floating into a space, a space he didn't want to be in.   
  
Adam tried to hide his surprise as he watched Jesse fading, slowly, in front of him. He stepped forward and watched him closely. Jesse's eyes grew wide in fear as he tried to control his powers, but in vain. And that was when he raised his eyes to him, his fear and confusion stabbing Adam like a dozen knives.  
  
Adam acted quickly. "Focus," he told him, keeping his voice calm. "You can do it, Jesse. Come back to us."  
  
It didn't work. Adam could barely see the features of Jesse's face now, but he knew the young man was more than horrified than what he let on. But then Jesse suddenly reappeared, his features more clear, as he was finally able to control his powers.   
  
Adam clapped. "Good work, Jesse," he congratulated him. "Now, if I can teach you to control your powers-"  
  
Jesse cut him off. "I don't want to control my powers."   
  
Adam had heard this a dozen times, in each case he never really listened to what the other New Mutants had to say. But there was something in Jesse that made him give him a chance.   
  
"I've done everything you've asked me to without question," Jesse started, his voice now calm and sure of himself, but Adam could detect the lingering feeling of self-doubt. But he listened anyway. "So I'm going to ask for your help."  
  
Adam nodded. "I'm listening."  
  
Jesse started to pace back and forth in the room. "My dad-he said something about fixing me," he continued. "That there's a way to end this, all these unnecessary "powers"."  
  
"Where is your father?" Adam prodded gently, hoping to steer the conversation as far away from the direction Jesse had intended it to.   
  
It didn't work. "Shalimar told me that you've a very smart person, and that you're doing this, saving all new mutants, out of guilt from everything you've done. That you want to make amends for your mistakes." Jesse stopped pacing and looked at him squarely in the eye. "I want you to cure me."  
  
Adam blinked, and replied almost immediately. "No."  
  
Jesse's eyes widened in disbelief, yet he kept his voice calm. "And why not?"  
  
"Because its too dangerous, and its nearly impossible."  
  
Jesse's face contorted in anger. "Dangerous??!" he practically yelled. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe our own powers are dangerous on their own?"   
  
Adam cringed inwardly as Jesse almost spat the word "powers" out. "Yes, I'm aware of that, " he replied calmly. "But-"  
  
Jesse was trying to control himself from lashing out, pacing back and forth, and then stopping, and then pacing again. "We are a danger to ourselves, to everyone around us!" He stopped pacing and came to a stop in front of him. "What happens if we can't control our "powers"? What happens if some of us don't want to control our powers" and want to use these "powers" to harm other people? Isn't that a reason on its own to stop this?"  
  
Adam didn't speak, and merely looked him in the eye, the expression in his face enough as an answer. Jesse's shoulders heaved, and when he spoke, his voice cracked. "Please," he whispered. "I need you to cure me. I'm begging you."  
  
Adam shook his head sadly, feeling Jesse's pain. "I'm sorry, Jesse," he tried to soothe him. "I don't know why you hate your powers so much, but I can assure you that I did try to make a cure. Unfortunately it didn't work. Making a cure takes longer than you think, and while it is feasible, we have more important things to worry about."  
  
Jesse didn't seem to hear him. He kept his eyes glued to the floor for several minutes, and when he finally spoke, his voice was small and barely audible. "If you don't mind, I want to leave tomorrow morning."  
  
Adam nodded. He wanted to argue, but the young man's exhaustion was too obvious. "I'll tell Shalimar to get you a room." He watched as Jesse barely nodded, his shoulders dropping so low in disappointment. Adam hated seeing these people that he had always considered as his children so sad, and he almost felt angry with himself that for once, he didn't really know what to do to make everything better.  
  
****************  
  
Adam was on his way to his quarters when he saw Shalimar standing in the middle of the hallway, staring on the door outside Jesse's guest room. Adam came to a stop next to her and was about to ask her what was wrong, but he stopped himself when he saw how weary she looked as she stared, through the open door, the young man sitting on his bed, staring into space. Adam didn't fully understand why the young man affected Shalimar so much, but he had been with her long enough to know what she is feeling without her needing to tell him, and what he could feel, are emotions so alien from Shalimar.   
  
Sadness. So much sadness.   
  
"Don't mind him," Adam told her gently. "He's just confused and afraid. That's how they usually get, but I'm sure-"  
  
"How can you be so cold and unfeeling?" Shalimar snapped. She turned and looked at him, her eyes flashing in anger.   
  
Adam was stung by her remark, but he kept his voice calm. "I can understand your frustration, Shalimar, but-"  
  
She cut him off again. "Stop acting like you know everything about me, Adam, because I can tell you now that you don't know what I'm feeling." She looked at him squarely in th eye, her jaw jutting up in defiance.  
  
It has been bothering Adam for such a long time, and he had been meaning to discuss it with her, but he couldn't find the right time to do so. Now, he decided to just plunge right in. "This is all about the ring, isn't it?"  
  
Shalimar was taken aback. It worked. "What?"  
  
"I saw you looking at the ring, the one without the genetic code." He tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but Shalimar flinched and backed away. "I know that you're afraid of being off to missions on your own-"  
  
"I'm not afraid!" Shalimar shouted. She saw that Jesse's door was still open, and Jesse had now cocked his head to the direction of her voice. Shalimar slammed the door shut and walked farther down the hall. Adam followed her. "I'm not afraid, " she said, in a voice that Adam recognized, her self-confidence back.   
  
"Then what's wrong, Shalimar?" Adam prodded gently.   
  
Shalimar couldn't speak. She wanted to tell Adam so badly, everything she was feeling, everything that had been keeping her mind busy for the last few days. But she was too afraid.   
  
"Is it Jesse?"  
  
That did it. Shalimar felt the unfamiliar saltiness of tears materialize into her eyes. When was the last time she cried? She couldn't remember, and if she did, she didn't want to. It made her feel weak and vulnerable, and that was one feeling that she didn't want to feel ever again.   
  
"Shalimar, Jesse can learn to control his powers, I can assure you that." Adam tried to soothe her the only way he can, by making promises that he would have to work harder to fulfill later.  
  
"Why?" Shalimar finally managed to say.  
  
"Why what?"   
  
"Why do you always say "when?" How can you be so sure that we can control it?"  
  
Adam was surprised at the negative energy he rarely felt from her. He didn't say anything, but the look on his face willed her to continue.   
  
When she did, her voice cracked. "I was there, Adam," A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it off hastily, angry at herself for crying in front of him. Adam nodded, giving her a slight smile of assurance. "I saw everything...how everything...how our powers can make someone so happy and then make someone so sad just like that," she snapped her fingers. "Just like that. Oh God, Adam, you should have seen his face..." And then she told Adam everything; Jesse's birthday, how happy he was, Laura's fall, the incident with the GSA agents. Adam tried not to show his horror and sadness when he heard the story but Shalimar knew him well enough to see it. When she finished her story, she could feel the tears arriving, threatening to fall any minute now but she kept on talking. "I was strong enough. I felt like I should have used my powers to save her but I just watched. That man, on his birthday, is dying inside and it pains me more than anything that I couldn't do anything about it! Me, with all my powers. I couldn't do anything." When she finished, she wiped as much of the tears on her face that she could, and kept her eyes on the floor.  
  
There was silence, a silence so thick that lasted for almost an eternity. When Adam finally spoke, his voice was firm, but gentle and reassuring. "Shalimar, there are things we can't control. Even people with powers such as yours. I told you before, about limits, right? " He waited for her to nod, to see if she fully comprehended what he was trying to tell her. "As much as we want to fix everything, make everything all right, we are all still human. There was nothing you could have done for Laura. But there is something you could still do for Jesse. And what you want to do for him, it will take time." He emphasized his point by putting his hand on her shoulder, and this time, Shalimar didn't push him away.   
  
Shalimar looked at the shut door of Jesse's room, and then met his eyes. Finally, she nodded, understanding what he was trying to tell her. He was right, she had her powers, but she could only do as much.   
  
She couldn't protect Laura. But she could protect Jesse.   
  
It was a comforting thought.   
  
  
***End Part IV***  
  
Author's Notes: I know, this fic is very slow in pacing but I want to focus on Shalimar's psyche also. I hope I didn't fail in doing so. Please read and review, thanks. :) 


	5. Taking The Plunge

Title: The Elements of Trust   
Author/pseudonym: Nights   
Fandom:Mutant X   
Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.   
E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com   
Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^   
Notes: Thanks so much to all those who reviewed my fic. :) This is my first time to write a Mutant X fanfic, let alone a fanfic with multiple chapters, so its great to receive good commentary.   
Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me.

**Part V: Taking The Plunge**

Shalimar cranked up the coffee machine, enjoying the emanating smell of freshly brewed coffee. She needed its comfort right now. She had stayed up all night, careful to watch Jesse just in case he did anything stupid like running away. That happened more than once before, and even though for some crazy reason, she knew he wouldn't consider leaving until morning, she didn't take any chances on him anyway. After spending another hour of staring into space, deep in thought, Jesse had finally fallen asleep. She had spent the whole time, even past the crack of dawn, watching him, sitting on the side of his bed, as he breathed evenly. She was sure he wasn't having a peaceful sleep; every now and then he would wake up with a start, eyes wide in fear.

She often found her fingers kneading into his hair, carefully comforting him, easing him back to sleep. She didn't know if he was aware that she had spent the whole time sitting next to him on his bed, cradling him to sleep like a child, but then, that didn't really matter. It was 8 am in the morning when she herself awoke with a start, realizing that she had fallen asleep as well, but she was relieved to see that her hand had never left his forehead, while her other hand, she found out, had come to nestle onto the back of his neck. She liked how it felt there, enveloped by the warmth between the junction of shoulder and cheek. How comforting and safe it was.

_How vulnerable._

Shalimar frowned at the thought as she sipped her coffee, cursing as the hot coffee scalded her tongue. At that moment, Adam had entered the kitchen, the refreshed look on his face a huge contrast to the tired look on hers. He nodded in her direction and made himself his own cup of coffee.

"How's he doing?"

She shook her head. "Not too well. He's been having bad dreams, but I guess that's understandable."

Adam nodded and reached for the morning paper. She finished her cup, refilled it, and joined him at the table. "So, do you want me to take him straight to his room via Double Helix, or do you want me to leave him at the nearest highway, get him a cab, be more inconspicuous?"

Adam didn't look up from his paper as he answered. "You're not taking him home."

Shalimar dumped her cup of coffee on the table, leaned over Adam and pulled his newspaper down so they could face each other eye to eye. "What do you mean?" She tried to keep her voice even, although she could feel the anger boiling inside her.

"I received a call from my contact, and GSA agents are all over the Prussian Gardens area, looking for him," Adam replied calmly. The composed look on his face irritated Shalimar even more, but she forced herself to listen. "My contact called up his mother, and we had an agreement that it was safer for him to be here. She just sent all of his things so he could get settled in here easily."

Shalimar couldn't believe it. She was aghast by the the detached attitude of Jesse's mother. "And that's it? Right after his birthday she dumps him here?" She was so appalled by the whole situation that she never noticed that she had clenched her fists. "What kind of mother is that? If I were his mother I'd-"

"And you're not," Adam cut in. Putting the newspaper down, he started massaging his temples wearily. "This isn't really any of our business, Shalimar. The best thing we can do right now is to get him settled, help him learn to control his powers, and then you can start training him."

_No._ "Wait a minute," she said, trying to keep her voice calm but purposely failing to do so. "Don't tell me you're thinking of recruiting him."

Adam nodded wearily. "He seems to have knowledge over the technology we're using. I could use some help in the lab and you could use some help in the missions-"

She cut him off. "No way. No way, Adam." She crossed her arms defiantly. "Did we not just have that conversation yesterday? I told you about how much he hates his powers, how much he-"

It was Adam's turn to cut her off. "I don't want to hear it, Shalimar, " he said firmly. "I understand your concerns, believe me. But in the end its his decision, not yours, not mine. Rest assured we're going to try our best to convince him but we're not going to dissuade him from joining us. You know just as well as I do that we need another member here in Mutant X."

Shalimar wanted to argue, wanted to tell him how she felt, how much she thought it was a bad idea, but she could see that Adam's mind was made up. She let out a loud sigh and started to leave the room, but then Adam called out to her.

"While you're on your way to see him, you can take his suitcases to his room."

Shalimar sighed and nodded absentmindedly as she walked down the hallway to Jesse's room. In fact, she was so deep in thought that she found herself on the floor in a matter of seconds, her legs tangled up in the mass of suitcases she apparently had tripped on. She let out an angry curse and kicked one of them away from her. This must be his things, she thought. She got up and surveyed one, two, three, four, five suitcases. Five suitcases? She raised an eyebrow. She noticed also three huge boxes propped up neatly outside Jesse's door. What did his mother pack for him, bowling balls?

She knocked on the door hesitantly, and when there was no answer, decided to just go in.

She found Jesse sitting on his bed, still wearing the tux he wore last night. His hair was rumpled and he looked so tired that Shalimar felt an ache inside her. She pushed the feeling away and pasted a bright smile on her face. "Good morning," she greeted him, trying her best to sound cheerful. "Sleep well?"

He looked up at her in confusion. "I don't know," he admitted. "Did I sleep at all? I don't remember."

Shalimar decided the best answer was a white lie. "As far as I know you slept ok," she told him. "In fact, the minute you sat down, you went straight to sleep."

"You're lying."

She patted his shoulder flippantly. "Does it matter?"

He got up. "I'm going home now."

She sucked in her breath. Here comes the hard part. "You're not going home," she told him quietly.

His eyes widened in disbelief. "Why not?"

"There are GSA agents all over your area," she answered, trying to keep her voice as soothing as possible. "Adam had a discussion with your mother and they found it best for you to stay here, where its safe." She tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder but he pushed her away.

"I'm supposed to be safe here, huh?" He said sarcastically. "I'm in a strange place full of strangers. And I'm supposed to be safe. Hahaha."

Shalimar felt a rush of anger envelope her for a moment. "Look," she snapped. "We're only trying to help and soon you'll see in the future that this is all for your own good."

"How can calling my powers a gift when it's a danger to so many people for my own good!" he yelled at her. "How can holding me in here against my will be for my own good? Can you answer that?"

That did it. "I understand that you're pissed at what happened to your girlfriend and everything but don't take it out on us!" Shalimar yelled.

_Oh God. _She regretted what she said the minute it came out of her mouth. Jesse looked at her with an expression she didn't fully understand. She forced herself to look away from him for a moment, and immediately retracted what she said. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to bring her into this."

He didn't answer. Instead, he let out a loud sigh and sat down on the bed, his eyes glued to the floor.

"I know you don't trust us," Shalimar said softly. "But right now, there's nothing you can do. If you go home the GSA agents will capture you and take you to a place where you'll never want to be in. If you leave here they'll hunt you down anyway. So you see, this is the only safe place."

Jesse looked up at her, the expression on his face unreadable. "Give me one more reason why I should trust you."

"I saved your life. Doesn't that mean anything?"

He was silent for a long time, and finally he answered. "A lot."

Shalimar held out her hand to him, and he took it gratefully. She led him out of the room.

**************

The next few days were hectic for Jesse, as Shalimar trained him nonstop. First they spent time in the elevated dojo, as Jesse tried to learn how to control his powers. If he had any questions on the reasons for the intense training, he didn't ask it. Shalimar had learned, on her own, that although he tried controlling his powers, he often massed and phased depending on the fluctuation of his moods. She finally understood then, why his fingers phased out when he was with Laura. The presence of her company obviously made him feel free, happy, and without inhibitions.

Soon, Jesse learned to control his powers, being able to phase and mass out by holding his breath, although Adam's tests on him didn't reach a full conclusion on just how long should he stay intangible. To keep things safe, Adam warned him not to stay intangible for more than thirty seconds.

The best part, Shalimar concluded, was taking him on a tour of the Sanctuary. Living in a mansion all his life made Jesse look at all new places differently, his eyes often on the prowl for any secret passageways or rooms. Shalimar found herself smiling instinctively at the boyish innocence emanating from him; how he often watched Adam working in his lab with utmost curiosity, how he simply looked at her, wondering what her powers were. She found herself laughing when the first question he asked when she told him that she was feral was, "How come you don't have a tail?"

Weeks passed by, and Adam seemed to have had enough of Jesse merely watching him from afar. He gave him a grand tour of the lab, the tour that bored the hell out of Shalimar when she first arrived at the Sanctuary. Yet Jesse was not the least bit bored, he had spent more than mere minutes examining each piece of technology Adam showed him, from the scans, to the computers, and who knows what else technical thingamajigs, Shalimar wasn't really interested. She enjoyed watching Jesse slowly opening up to Adam though, and vice versa.

One time, Adam approached her, leaving Jesse alone to check up the databases. "I had a call from my contact," he told her, keeping his voice at a low level, making sure Jesse wouldn't hear anything.

"And what?" Shalimar was surprised, two weeks had passed since Adam's contact called, and the sudden call was enough to raise suspicion from her.

"There's a new mutant named Geoffrey on the loose," he answered, an unfamiliar look of apprehension on his face. "He's a combination feral and elemental. My contact tells me he works for Genomex, and although he's been tagged with a subdermal governor, he's still very dangerous."

Shalimar straightened up. Its been a while since she's had a challenge and she was surely missing it. Being with Jesse was an emotional rollercoaster of two weeks, and she wanted to take a break from all the drama. She cracked her knuckles, fully enjoying the idea of kicking someone's ass. And that was when Adam's next statement pulled her from her thoughts.

"…I want you and Jesse to go to this location," he instructed. "The-"

She cut him off. "You're kidding, right?" she asked, disbelievingly.

Adam shook his head. "Not at all, Shalimar." He looked at her quizzically. "Why ask?"

"Are you insane?" she asked, her voice rising. "Adam, he's only trained for a week! I haven't even started with his combat training yet and you want me to-"

"A week of training is more than enough," Adam told her. He continued to outline his plans to her, ignoring the rising of Shalimar's temper. "I need you to take him because Geoffrey's hideout, an abandoned warehouse at this location-" he pointed at the computer. "-has stolen electronic equipment meant to block our communication satellites linking the Sanctuary to the other safehouses. He plans to execute his plan in 48 hours. I don't want to waste time, so I need you to get Jesse in the warehouse, disable the machinery, and then get out."

Shalimar's jaw clenched. She didn't like this at all, and she told Adam exactly that.

"I'll keep that in mind," he merely answered, the coolness of his voice irritating her even more.

She sucked in her breath, and tried again. "Adam-"

Adam patted her shoulder reassuringly. "Its all right, Shalimar, I trust you with him."

She shook her head as Adam walked away. _That's exactly what I'm worried about._

***************

Adam listened to the familiar drone of Double Helix's engines fade away into the distance. With a relaxed smile, he returned to typing furiously onto his computer. He had wondered, for a while, if asking Shalimar to bring Jesse along was a good idea, but he had debated the thought again and again in his mind and all the thinking, he admitted was tiring. Jesse needed the experience, Shalimar needed a helping hand, and they all needed to stop Geoffrey from executing his plan. It seemed so simple.

But Adam knew that it wasn't. He noticed that all the hostility that Jesse felt for him was slowly dissipating, and Shalimar was slowly growing fond of him.

Too fond.

Adam frowned at his computer, surprised at the sudden speed of its functions. He checked the logs and smiled to himself. Jesse had reformatted the computer without telling him.

He stood up and walked to the desk at the far right of the lab, and winced as he banged his forehead on the hanging light bulb. Shalimar was right, he needed to do something about that. He reached down at the desk and pulled out a metal container resembling a pen case. He flipped the top open and stared at the silver ring inside.

He stared at it, mesmerized, when a familiar voice called out to him. "Adam?"

Adam closed his eyes, wanting to curse himself for not checking closely before letting Shalimar go. He turned around, not wanting to see what he would eventually see; the familiar blond head, the lean frame, the blue eyes now looking at him closely. "Where's Shalimar?" Jesse asked.

Before Adam could answer, he heard the familiar static of a com link being turned on from the communication panel. He gave Jesse a look, telling him that he will answer his question later, and proceeded to the panel. He clicked the receiver on. "Shalimar."

"I'm here, Adam," Shalimar's familiar voice came on.

Adam wanted to yell at her right then for blatantly disobeying him. "I told you to-"he hesitated, noticing that Jesse was hanging onto his every word. Not wanting him to find out that Shalimar left him on purpose, he tried to keep his voice even. "You understood what I told you before?"

"Yup, Adam," she replied breezily. "And it's a piece of cake. The warehouse is abandoned, I kicked some GSA agent's ass, and right now I'm disabling the equipment. I can even give you a souvenir if you like. Proud of me?"

Adam shook his head, trying to hide his annoyance at Shalimar's recklessness. "We will talk when you get home, you understand?"

"Yeah, I got it, Adam," she answered flippantly.

And that was when an unfamiliar voice came on the line. "Forget the talk, because you're not going home."

Jesse's eyes widened and he gripped on Adam's arm, looking at him questioningly. Despite his alarm, Adam gave him the best reassuring look he could muster, and gripped the receiver again. "Shalimar?"

A series of muffled sounds answered him. And the keening whine of static.

Pure static that ran on for more than five minutes. Pure static that Adam would have listened to forever had Jesse not reached out and shut the com panel off.

_Oh no._

***End Part V***


	6. The Many Faces of Fear

Title: The Elements of Trust   
Author/pseudonym: Nights  
Fandom:Mutant X  
Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.  
E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com   
Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^  
  
Notes: Thanks so much to all those who reviewed my fic. :) This is my first time to write a Mutant X fanfic, let alone a fanfic with multiple chapters, so its great to receive good commentary. 

This is a short vignette, it is still a part of the fic "Elements of Trust" but it could stand alone. Consider it a departure from the current flow of the story. :) 

Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me.  
  
  
**Vignette: The Many Faces of Fear**

She felt like she could feel, see, hear and smell the four corners of the world.

Dawn was breaking in the dingy motel room she was staying in. She nervously pushed an errant lock of blond hair from her face, hissing in irritation as her sweat caused the strand to mat on the side of her face. _That sound_. Again. The screeching of tires. A red dress. The turn of a key on its lock. The smell of fermented grapes. A knock on the door. A footstep. She whirled around, looking for its source, and felt them all, resonating like a drum roll to come to a stop near her ears.

Behind the window, a moth had wandered on a spider web, catching its barely-visible legs. Slowly sneaking behind, the owner of the web had jumped on it, erasing all of its chances to break free. The spider slowly began tearing the moth methodically apart. She shut her eyes but she could still see it--its wings slowly being torn apart; she could hear it--the chipping sound of the spider's minuscule jaws sinking on its silken body; and she could also feel it--the feeling of the moth's life being taken away in an agonizingly slow rhythm. The sickening smell of dissipating flesh flooded her nostrils as she fought the urge to vomit.

She wanted to push it away, the sound, the smell, the sight of it all, but in a split second she found her senses honing in on another image. A park. She knew it was near the motel room she had kept herself hidden from the rest of the world, but where? She looked wildly around and in just a second more, found out. _To the right_. A baby was crying loudly, having pooped on its diapers. The smell was enough to make her retch, and she fought hard not to. Upstairs, someone was playing a Backstreet Boys CD. The sound of tapping feet. Someone was dancing. The room on her left, someone was baking chocolate mousse. The humming sound of an oven baking floated on her ears, the smell of chocolate made her mouth water.

_The room across her_. She heard the slap of a condom being broken. The sighs and moans, the squeaking of a bed's springs, whining from the effort.

Too many sounds, sights, smells. She felt the myriad of images, sounds and smells coalescing into a single spear piercing straight into her brain.

Her knees buckled and she blacked out.

****************

She woke up to the smell of brownies. Food. When was the last time she had eaten? She didn't know. She sat up. Morning was forcing its greeting through her shut window, and it was slowly eating away the shields of her window blinds as sunlight sneaked into its sides.

She got up with a start. She had to get out of here.

**************

How long had she been walking? She didn't know. What time is it? She didn't know either. Never mind what day, what month, and where she exactly was. She had nothing to follow, nothing to hide from, no one to talk to. This day was hers.

She was in the middle of crossing the street when she realized that a pair of eyes, dark brown eyes, have bored themselves into the back of her head with so much intensity that she gasped. She turned around to the source of the piercing stare in alarm. The gaze returned hers and she was taken aback for a moment, by its calmness, soothingness, the quiet understanding it seemed to have for her current condition.

Normally, it would make someone feel better to have solace. But right now, it did nothing but scare her.

A car's brakes squealed. She turned her gaze back in front of her and saw a car on its way to her. There was seemingly no way out, no time to run, yet instinct took over, and she reacted.

The next thing she knew she was on top of the car, her feet planted on the metal painted surface comfortably, as if they belonged there. She was horrified. How did she do that? Again, she didn't know.

A barrage of voices pierced her mind. "Are you all right, Miss?"

"What the hell was that?"

"Who is she, some kind of catwoman?"

That did it. She ran away in fear, the voices of so many echoing in the distance.

***************

She found herself again in the dingy motel room, where everything seemed to have began. She had kept herself underneath her bed in fear of being discovered by the many people who had seen what she did before. She noticed that its been days since she's washed herself, days since she's eaten, but it didn't bother her. Something was dreadfully wrong with her and she didn't know what. She decided that the best way was to keep herself as far away from everything as possible, perhaps that could prevent her from sensing everything. She had gone as far as to crushing a mouse in her palm, apalled at its attempt to intrude onto her personal space.

She pressed her palms into her forehead, pushing away the urge to cry. She had never been so scared in her entire life. She often prided herself for her utmost confidence and self-belief but right now she didn't know what was wrong with her, there were so many questions about herself she desperately needed answers to, and it angered her that she didn't know where and how to look for it.

_There it is again_. She raised her head sharply at the distinct sound of someone turning the doorknob of her room.

The minty smell of aftershave. The creaking of footsteps on wood. She pressed herself farther into the bottom of the bed. Whoever it was, he was slowly prying away her barricades. Normally she would kick whoever it was away, but she was too tired, too tired to fight back.

Then she found herself facing calm eyes, reaching for her.

The overall calmness of his brown eyes told her he wasn't going to hurt her. Tired from pushing everything away, she pushed away all sense of control and found herself sinking into the nearest, most comforting arms she could find.

Even if it was from a stranger.

***End Vignette***


	7. Fragments

Title: The Elements of Trust  
Author: Nights  
Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.  
E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com 

Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^

Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me.  
  


**Part VI: Fragments**

"Adam?" Jesse looked at him questioningly, silently asking him to direct him on what to do.

Adam shook his head, thinking fast. It had been a good twenty minutes since Jesse shut the com panel off, and he had turned it on practically every minute, listening intently for any sign of Shalimar's current condition. The response was the same every time. Nothing.

"Keep on checking," he told him wearily. With a nod, Jesse went back to the com panel.

A pained look crossed Adam's face as he watched Jesse steadfastly turning the com panel on again every now and then, waiting patiently for a response from Shalimar. Bright blue eyes lost its luster every time he received a muted response from the panel, yet he kept on listening. And listening. 

Adam didn't know if he should admire the boy's dedication or should he berate him for his naivety. Right now, it didn't really matter.

The urge to kick himself for letting Shalimar get away with her carelessness returned with a vengeance. He always made it clear to her that someday her recklessness would get her into trouble, although he never really wished for that trouble to arrive anytime soon, or anytime at all.

"Adam!" Jesse beckoned for him excitedly. Adam walked up to the com panel and sat down next to him. "I heard something-her voice," he told him. "That's a good sign, isn't it?" 

Adam wanted to be as optimistic as him, he really did, but he didn't want to keep the boy's hopes up and shatter them later, should the situation keep on being like this. "Maybe," he answered vaguely. Maybe not. Yet he berated himself for his negativity. He felt his heart break as Jesse's face fell, not anymore bothering to hide his feelings to himself. He tried to think of something comforting to say, anything to soothe him, but static from the com panel pulled him from his thoughts. He let out a sigh of relief when he heard Shalimar's familiar voice. 

"Jesse?"

Adam tried to hide the smile from his face as Jesse's face lit up at the thought of being the first person Shalimar called for. Jesse's moods were like a seesaw-when he's sad, he would be drowning in an abyss of pain; but when he's happy, he would be soaring onto clouds. Jesse looked at him, silently asking for permission to speak on the receiver. Adam nodded his go ahead.

"Yeah, Shalimar? I'm here."

"Tell Adam I'm ok, Geoffrey got away but I managed to disable the machines. I'm on my way back."

"Ok."

Adam crossed his arms, preparing himself for what he planned for her later. He would not let her get away with her recklessness this time.

************

_Ouch_. Her arm hurt like hell, but she continued to keep it on its position, knowing that if Adam found out that she was injured, he would increase the length of his pre-planned speech on responsibility and obedience. And she didn't want to hear that.

Geoffrey was stronger than she thought, and even though she disabled the machinery before he attacked her, it did not stop him from forcing his claws on her arm. The pain was enough to stun her so he could make a quick getaway.

She had no intention on meeting anyone on her way out of Double Helix, but when she came out, Jesse was right there on the landing strip. He walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, the look on his face betraying his worry. "Are you all right?"

She laughed and gave him a light punch on the arm, trying to hide how her face contorted in pain at the exertion. "Why wouldn't I be?" she answered flippantly.

Jesse ran his eyes all over her, and Shalimar was starting to get irritated at being observed like a lab rat. His gaze finally came to a stop of her arm. She held her breath as his eyes narrowed for a moment, but returned to its normal demeanor. "I...we were worried back there," he told her. "I thought you were-" His eyes clouded for a moment, but he shook his head to clear it. When he spoke again, the tone of his voice was cool. "I thought you were in trouble."

"Me, in trouble?" She laughed. "Hardly." 

Silence. Jesse wanted to say more, she noticed, but he was having a hard time coming up with the words. Instead, he hesitantly reached for her, anything, of her. She wanted to oblige, but she knew that if he touched her he would find out about her arm and she wasn't in the mood to answer the million questions he would ask her. So instead, she gave him a reassuring smile and brushed past him. She tried to ignore the look of hurt from his face that bored onto the back of her head but it hit her hard, like twenty million meteor fragments exploding on solid ground. 

She tried to push Jesse out of her mind and hurriedly tried to duck past the lab into her room when Adam came out of nowhere, grabbed her firmly by her injured arm, and steered her to the lab. She tried to stop herself from crying out in pain but the exertion was too much.

When they reached the lab, Adam finally let go of her arm. "Injured, I see."

"It was just…just a scratch from Geoffrey."

Adam tore off the sleeve of her shirt, exposing the blood dripping from three, long and very deep scratches on her arm. He clucked his tongue at the sight, and gave her a look that betrayed all of his pent-up irritation, frustration, and annoyance at her.

She tried to beat him to whatever he had in mind to say to her. "Adam-"

Adam raised his hand firmly. "Don't say anything, Shalimar. You'll just make me more angry than what I am right now."

She kept quiet, allowing Adam to cleanse her wounds and bandage her arm methodically. When he finished, she tried to get up, but was surprised when Adam pushed her back on the examination table roughly.

"Look, Adam, I know you're angry I didn't bring Jesse but-"

Adam turned around, and she was shocked at how angry he was. Yet his voice remained calm and even, despite the small hints of anger it betrayed. "What the hell were you thinking, Shalimar? Not only did you purposely disobey my orders but you got yourself injured also."

Shalimar bent her head down in fear. She had never seen Adam so angry, and she had to admit that seeing him so out of control scared her.

Adam finally spoke again, but the tone of his voice-he was on the brink of screaming at her, and his overwhelming patience was the only thing stopping him from doing so. For once, Shalimar found herself thankful for that patience. "I have had enough of this, Shalimar. I told you before that you're all I got, how important it is for you to be careful at all times, not to take unnecessary risks. How many times do I have to tell you that before you understood it well enough to follow it?"

She couldn't answer. When he put it that way, how could she? The feeling of shame coursed through her very being and she felt sick to the stomach. Yet she willed herself to say something.

"I'm sorry, Adam," she answered finally, her voice small. "But I just couldn't-I just couldn't put Jesse in any danger."

Adam didn't let her finish. With a loud sigh, he left the room, leaving her to soak into her guilt, shame, and pain.

*********************

Shalimar looked up when Adam returned to the lab minutes later, his face still reared in anger, but not as intense as before. She tried to smile at him, but the look on Adam's face was too serious to make room for a smile back.

"Any news on Geoffrey?" She asked.

"We're trying to track him. Jesse volunteered to search the database for any clues on Geoffrey's favorite hiding places, maybe he would return to those. For now," Adam massaged his temples. "We have nothing to do but stay put and wait for anything Jesse finds, or for any news from my contact." He regarded her curtly. "How's your arm doing?"

"Not too great, but it wasn't as bad as before."

"Go to your room then, and get some rest."

Shalimar nodded, suddenly feeling weary. She stretched and walked out of the lab. She hesitated before walking to her room, and decided to pass by the computer room.

Jesse was stretched out on the chair, typing furiously on the computer. She reminded him for a moment of Adam, when he was rebuilding the database. Adam lost sleep for two weeks fixing that database, and knowing Jesse, he would lose just as much to find Geoffrey. She smiled to herself at the subtle hint of protectiveness from Jesse, liking the feeling, despite its unfamiliarity. 

Jesse noticed her standing and hesitated, before giving her a small smile. "Hey."

Shalimar herself hesitated before approaching him, mentally rehearsing her apology for the cold treatment she gave him earlier. She walked over to him, bent over and leaned her arm on the back of his chair. "How's the search going?"

Jesse sighed. "To be honest, not too well," he confessed. "Geoffrey switches hiding places practically everyday, and I'm trying to figure out a pattern, and so far, whatever I've learned, I end up on a dead end. Right now I'm checking out the latest news reports on unexplainable attacks, maybe it would lead me to him, but so far, still nothing." He looked at her arm and his eyes widened. "Your arm…?"

"No, no, its nothing," she told him breezily. "Just a small scratch from Geoffrey. It doesn't even hurt much."

Jesse grew silent, and he faced the computer again. "I bet nothing could ever hurt you," he said softly.

Shalimar looked at him, deciding in the end to dump the apology, because Jesse didn't need it, nor wanted it. She watched him as he quietly returned to his work. It had been two weeks, and Jesse had obviously been working extra hard, filling his schedule with things to do so he could feel useful again, and also, to keep his mind off Laura's death. It pained her, how she wanted so hard to make everything better for him but every now and then the lingering shadow of pain and sadness would trample over everything she's worked so hard for. Jesse didn't know that she still watched over him as he slept, and he probably didn't know also that he still had bad dreams. She was always there to soothe him back to sleep before the feeling of waking up fully registered into his system, hence, he never really remembered anything. But still, it was there, and the irate feeling of helplessness bothered Shalimar more than anything.

Without thinking, she used her uninjured arm to massage the muscles on the back of his neck. He let out a soft sigh at the comfort of her thumbprints on his skin. Jesse instinctively leaned his cheek to the palm of her hand, and she smiled at the subtle sign of complete trust from him.

"Shal?"

She raised her eyebrow in surprise at the use of an unfamiliar nickname. She let it go anyway. "Yeah?"

"Why did you leave me?"

She sighed. "I didn't think you were ready to go to this mission."

Jesse reached for her hand, keeping his eyes on the data streaming on the screen, yet not fully taking them in. "But I am."

"You don't trust yourself to control your power. I can see it. How you avoid me when I ask to start with your combat training. You don't believe that you can save people. I can't risk you out there at your current state of mind, Jesse." _I can't risk myself with you._

Jesse responded by squeezing her hand tightly. "I need to prove myself to you, Shalimar. I need to prove myself to Adam. You have to take a chance on me."

"Take a chance on yourself."

"I'm afraid."

Shalimar finally squeezed his hand back, so tightly that she didn't notice Jesse's face wince in pain. _So am I_. 

****************

As she predicted, Jesse spent the rest of the evening until the early morning searching for Geoffrey, seemingly exhausting all means. She didn't leave him the whole time, but she kept her distance, and the minute she saw him bend his head on the keyboard, just to shut his eyes for a short while, she found herself at his side in seconds. Pillow in hand, she adjusted him to a better position, and turned off the computer. Satisfied at her work, she then pulled a chair next to him and kept her usual watch as he slept. 

She counted three times. Three times Jesse woke up with yet another bad dream, and barely a minute it took for her to soothe him back to sleep.

Three times. It was an improvement from the first day, when she couldn't even keep track of the number of bad dreams he had.

Adam must be kidding himself to think that Jesse was ready for missions. Yet he called her to the lab the next morning, right after breakfast. She approached the room hesitantly. She was still afraid of Adam, how he nearly exploded at her a few hours ago. It scared her, the realization that Adam was human and had limits to his own seemingly overwhelming exhaust of patience.

"Yes, Adam?"

He didn't look up from his computer. "My contact called," he answered, typing furiously. "For some unknown reason Geoffrey had his subdermal governor deactivated. He had stolen new computer equipment and is hidden at a new warehouse, again. He wants to execute his plans as soon as possible. "

The sound of Geoffrey's name being mentioned freed her from her early morning grogginess, and she felt the familiar surge of excitement to get some payback run through her body. "I'll get on it," she replied. She turned to leave. She wanted to get out there before Adam could-

"And don't forget to take Jesse with you."

She turned around. She wasn't going to lose this argument this time. "No."

Adam let out a loud sigh, and then turned off the monitor of his computer. He faced her squarely. The expression on his face made it clear that he wasn't in the mood for an argument with her, but he gave it a shot anyway. "Shalimar. Your arm still has yet to heal. Yesterday's events proved that Geoffrey is someone you can't handle alone." A pair of outraged eyes met his and he held out his hand so she would let him finish. "I know that you think you can handle it on your own but from what happened yesterday I think you should take my word for it."

Shalimar was about to let out a defiant response, when she realized that perhaps a change of approach would help her situation. She waited for a while, and then spoke, keeping her voice quiet and reasonable. "Adam. I know you're worried about me, and you don't think I can handle myself. But you see, its not me you should be worried about." She met his eyes, and when Adam didn't interrupt, she took it as a sign that he was waiting for her to continue. "I-I don't think Jesse's ready, physically and emotionally."

Adam nodded. "I'm aware of that, Shalimar. But sometimes, when we face things even though we're not yet ready, the strength of what we face will drive us to be ready for it."

Shalimar knew that she was fighting a losing battle, but she kept on anyway. "I don't want to risk him when he's not yet ready."

Adam stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. He looked at her for a full minute, and when he finally spoke, his voice was so gentle, it almost came out as a whisper. "And when will he be ready, Shalimar?"

Shalimar was surprised at the question, more so because she had been asking herself the same question and frankly, she didn't know the answer. She was too proud to tell that to Adam, though. Instead, she looked down at the floor of the lab. "Please, Adam," she finally answered, resorting to begging. Anything would do to keep Jesse safe.

Adam shook his head. She knew it. With a heavy heart, she nodded and made her way to where she left Jesse sleeping.

******************

Shalimar watched in admiration as Jesse piloted Double Helix like he was born to do so. If he was the least bit excited of finally going to his first mission, he didn't show it. She relayed Adam's plan to him earlier, with some minor alterations. He was the lookout, while she would go in the warehouse, disable the machinery and get out. She didn't mention to him that she had plans of kicking Geoffrey's ass, for that would worry him and might make him tell on her to Adam.

Jesse's eyes narrowed in confusion when she outlayed the plan to him. "I'm just a lookout? I thought Adam said something about me disabling the machinery?"

She let out a laugh and gave him a pat on the head. "I don't think I remember Adam saying anything about that."

"I think he did." Jesse looked at her closely. "Look, Shal, I know you don't think I could handle it but I-"

"That's not it," she interrupted him. "Adam won't give you too much work to do at your first mission, that's all."

The answer didn't satisfy Jesse, but as usual he kept his reservations to himself, and trusted on her judgment. "Don't worry, Shalimar, you can count on me."

_I hope so._

****End Part 6****


	8. Blood Sacrifice

Title: The Elements of Trust  
Author: Nights  
Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.  
E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com 

Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^

Notes: Finally, the last chapter. Its been a blast writing this fic, and a billion thanks for the reviews, they've all been very encouraging. :)

IMPORTANT: All text italicized and enclosed with these ***signs are Shalimar's private thoughts. Plain italicized text should be treated as it is. 

Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me.  
  


**Part VII: Blood Sacrifice**

_Crack._

Shalimar whirled around and frowned at him. Jesse smiled sheepishly. That was the fourth twig that he stepped on for the last few minutes, and he couldn't really blame Shalimar for getting jumpy.

He continued to follow Shalimar as she edged through the wooden wall of the abandoned cabin located in a grassy area on the outskirts of town, which served as Geoffrey's warehouse. Jesse couldn't understand why Geoffrey, why anyone would want to destroy the communications satellites of the Sanctuary, after all, what would they hope to gain? From the two weeks he had spent at the Sanctuary he had reached the conclusion that Adam and Shalimar represented the good guys of the equation, and the men who tried to steal his things during his birthday, represented the bad guys. Just how bad, he still has yet to discover just to what extent. But from what he can discern from the way Shalimar greatly disliked the idea of him being with her right now on this mission, he could put two and two together.

The truth was, he was afraid. More than anything. Never in his lifetime did he ever think of being in anything as risky as this. Sure he has his powers. Shalimar already trained him on the practical application of his powers, how to use it to defend himself and others, but the truth was, he didn't really trust himself to control it to the utmost perfection the way Shalimar had control on her own powers. He had replayed the billion possibilities of him trying to solidify himself to protect himself from a bullet, and then not doing so in time and getting himself hit. Then Shalimar would have to drag him out of the place, possibly get hurt herself.

And that scared him more than anything. He didn't want to be a liability to anyone, especially Shalimar. He had noticed the obvious change in her from when he first met her. She often had dark circles under her eyes, as if she hadn't had much sleep. He knew she had been watching him, taking care of him. He didn't want to tell her that he knew, and that he liked her protectiveness, but something was telling him that this has all got to end, somehow, and the best thing to do that, was to show her that he was capable of taking care of himself.

_Crack._ But not this way. He cursed himself for stepping on another twig again. Shalimar didn't even bother turning around this time, but the pinch she gave on his arm was enough to tell him that she didn't like it.

Finally, they reached the door. Shalimar took one look at it and realized it was locked. She looked up at the high, yet open window above her. "I'm going in through that window, " she whispered. "Give me fifteen minutes."

He barely had a chance to register what she said before she was gone. He didn't even hear her land on the floor. He pressed his ear on the wooden door and listened.

He wasn't surprised to hear a muffled shout of surprise, followed by some scuffling sounds. He relaxed and leaned on the door, but then he heard the distinct sound of Shalimar's muffled groan.

He reacted, and the next thing he knew, he had phased through the door, and into the room.

He looked at the door, perplexed. Well, that wasn't so bad. But then he felt his sight turn into a billion stars as a fist pounded the back of his head. Angered, he swung wildly, careful to solidify his fists the way Shalimar taught him to. He punched air for a while, and finally his fist connected on something solid. He let out a smile of satisfaction as he saw a man collapse on the floor, knocked out.

He looked up and saw Shalimar finishing off the rest of the men. She kicked the last man down, surveyed the situation just in case one of them would get up, and swiftly approached him. He tried to keep the grin off his face.

The grin left his face in a second as Shalimar pushed him roughly. "What the hell are you doing here?" She hissed at him. Her eyes were wild in fury, and…fear?

Jesse was so surprised, and he tried to keep the confusion from creeping into his face, but he betrayed it with his voice. "I was just-" He looked down at her questioningly. "I thought you were in trouble so I-"

Shalimar pushed him roughly again, this time, towards the door. She kicked it open.

She leaned forward, and said the words that sliced through Jesse's heart, causing it to stop beating. "I don't need your help."

She pushed him out of the warehouse, and slammed the door shut. Jesse leaned his back to the door, and felt his knees threaten to buckle underneath him. He tried to keep himself standing upright.

So that was it. The one person he wanted to prove himself to the most didn't need his help. Jesse felt a wave of sadness course through his body, piercing him like a dozen little knives. Why is it that the people that meant the world to him always knew exactly how to hurt him? His father knew that he needed him as a father figure more than anything, so he left him. His mother knew that he needed her to love him, yet she sold all the love he gave her for fame and social status. Laura made him value living despite his mutant powers, yet she had to die through it.

And Shalimar…Shalimar was the one person who seemed to believe in him, that there was something special in him worth trusting in. And she didn't need him.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of a car from a distance. He cocked his head, and saw a familiar man running away. He looked at him closely, tried to remember his face, and realized that it was Geoffrey. He thought of running after him, but he didn't want to disobey Shalimar's orders, and decided to keep still.

But there was something wrong here. He tried to think hard. Why would Geoffrey be running away when he knew someone was inside the warehouse, possibly disrupting his plans? Unless…

Before any other thought could register in his mind, an explosion behind him brought him flying forward. He fell face first on the grass, and kept his hands protectively to his head. Instinctively, he took a deep breath and massed.

When he felt safe enough to get up, he exhaled and turned his body back to its original mass. He got up and turned around. The sight in front of him made his blood run cold.

Flames were everywhere, and was eating up what seemed to be left of the warehouse. He realized now that that was the reason Geoffrey ran away. He knew they were coming, and he waited for them to arrive before wiring up the machinery with bombs.

And then a more pressing thought came to his mind.

_Shalimar._

He felt a sickening feeling of fear attack his body and he almost let out a cry. This can't be happening, not again, he thought wildly as he made his way to the warehouse. Blindly he entered what seemed to be left of the front door and looked around, trying to find the familiar blond head who saved his life more than twice.

Finally, he saw her, and he couldn't believe what he saw. She was sitting in the middle of what seemed to be a circle of flames, her head in her hands, eyes wide in fear. Her body racked with sobs. Jesse couldn't stand the sight of her, the person he admired more than anything, collapsed in a heap of terror.

"Shalimar!" he called out to her. Dark eyes, wild and large in terror, met his.

"Get out of here, Jesse!" She yelled at him. "Save yourself and leave me here!"

_No._ Jesse gritted his teeth. "I'm not going anywhere," he yelled back. He stared at the flames, and with whatever of the air that was left in the warehouse, he took a deep breath and massed himself solid. He plunged through the flames and was at Shalimar's side in seconds.

"No," Shalimar whispered, her voice cracking in worry and fear. "No, Jesse, go back, you'll kill yourself-"

He finally exhaled. "I'm not going anywhere," he repeated firmly, trying to sound brave to assure her, yet his heart pounded in his throat. He tried to make her get up, but her knees buckled as he did.

She gripped his arm. "Jesse, you have to listen to me," she started. "We're not going to make it if you try to drag me out of here. But you can save yourself-" she let out a scream that made his blood run cold as a piece of burning wood fell from the roof and landed a few inches from them. "Leave me, Jesse," she begged. "I'm going to die if you end up dying here with me!"

That did it. Jesse couldn't understand where all her fear was coming from but he had no time to find out. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, hard. "And I'm not going to leave you to die here without me!" he yelled to her face. "Do you hear me, Shal? I'm not going to leave you here. Now either you come with me out of here or we die here together."

Her eyes grew wide, and he didn't bother waiting for her response. He took a deep breath, coughing when he inhaled smoke. Not wasting time, he picked Shalimar up, half worried that she would fight him off, but she didn't. Instead, Shalimar buried her head into his shoulder. He took another deep breath, thankful that he inhaled pure air this time, massed out, and ran as fast as he could out of the warehouse. He couldn't find the door, so he just burst through the wall.

He ran until they reached an open clearing, and he finally exhaled, allowing his body to return to its normal state of density. He bent down and placed Shalimar on the grass. She broke down, sobbing, her face in her hands.

Jesse watched her, knowing that he should comfort her, but not knowing how or what to do. Behind them, the warehouse finally exploded with a loud boom. When Shalimar let out a soft whimper of fear, instinct finally told Jesse what to do.

He leaned over, took her into his arms, and hugged her as tightly as he could.

*****************

Adam had asked his contact for information regarding the whereabouts of Geoffrey, to no avail. He reached the conclusion that after he left the warehouse, he had left town, possibly somewhere South.

It turned out that Jesse needed some medication after a piece of burning wood have grazed his arm. Shalimar had insisted on tending his wound herself, and Adam had obliged. If she still suffered from some of the effects of her fear of fire, she didn't show it. Adam watched silently as Shalimar cleaned Jesse's wound and applied medication on it. When she wrapped a bandage on it, she instinctively gave it a kiss, just "to make it feel better". Adam smiled, not wanting to interrupt the tender moment.

When she was done and Jesse had left the lab, it was Shalimar's turn for a scan. As she lay on the chair, Adam moved silently away from the scan's controls. He felt Shalimar watch him closely as he reached for the desk, careful to keep his head away from the overhead bulb this time.

Her eyes widened as Adam pulled out the familiar metal case. Without waiting for the scan to finish, she got up and raised to his side, her eyes questioning.

Adam was prepared for this. "You can tell me otherwise, Shalimar, but I can see it in your eyes." He nodded. "He proved it tonight."

Shalimar looked down at the case and sighed. There was no use in preventing the inevitable from happening. "If you don't mind…?"

Adam gave her the case and squeezed her shoulder. "Be my guest."

****************

Shalimar watched Jesse closely, as he sat at the water's edge, again, deep in thought. She remembered the weary look on his face when she answered his unspoken question on their way back to the Sanctuary, that yes, the faced these dangers everyday, and he would be facing these dangers everyday himself if he joined Mutant X. The realization of that fact seemed to be dawning him at that moment, for his mind seemed to be in overdrive.

It satisfied her. She wanted him to think hard before answering her proposal.

Jesse noticed her watching him, and the small glint on his eyes beckoned her to approach him. As she sat next to him, he asked, "You ok?"

She smiled. Good ol' Jesse. He almost got himself killed, got a wounded arm, yet he still had to ask her how she was doing. "I'm fine."

He nodded and moved his gaze back to the water. Shalimar felt the familiar ache she felt everytime Jesse was deep in thought, signalling his return to the past that pained him so much, the growing distance between her and him so evident as his eyes clouded. But she was learning to get used to his mood swings, and slowly she adapted herself to his silence.

Tired from the evening's events, she scooted closer to him, and for once, leaned onto his shoulder. Jesse looked at her with a start, but only for a moment, as he slowly got used to be the one being leaned on for a change. His arm went around her shoulder and his chin came to a rest on her forehead.

Shalimar sighed, relaxing in the intimate contact and the unmetered silence. She wanted to thank him for being strong when she couldn't, but she chose to tell him instead by he slight pressure of her hand as it enclosed on his own. She didn't know anymore if Jesse would ever tell her about the pain that has seemingly constricted his ability to trust in himself and what he could do, but she was content in how much he trusted her. Maybe, that was all they needed; him relying on her for strength, and she, surrendering herself to him. No words, no I trust yous, no I need yous. Just a hand holding tightly onto hers, never letting go.

When she thought he wasn't looking, she pulled the ring from her pocket and gently slipped it into his fingers. Her eyes lit up as she watched Jesse's genetic code slowly forming onto the silver. Without pulling away from her, Jesse looked at the ring, blue eyes wide in wonder. He stared back at her. A small hint of a smile graced his lips.

Yes, it was more than enough.

***_On a tiptoe, the sun greets you good morning, molding itself into your hair, kneading them golden. I cannot tell you that everything would be fine, that once the day flies by it won't be hiding daggers behind its back, ready to pierce you and bury your innocence beneath pain. I will reach out past the four corners of the world to keep you safe, cleanse your wounds, to mar the feeling of pain. Don't worry, if things go my way, everyday will be a day where you will throw your head in a laugh, and your eyes will erupt into the bluest of stars._****

******THE END******


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